It was a Bank Holiday weekend and I had been especially excited for this weekend to begin as I had a few things planned.
On Saturday, after a day spent finding my inner child at an Adults adventure park, I went out in Camden to Shaka Zulu a South African restaurant cum club renowned for its exotic meat and even more exotic men. (I’m not actually sure if it’s renowned for exotic men but it sounded good didn’t it?). I’ve only ever been once before and I must say I really enjoyed it so this time I was looking forward to my night.
Following an uneventful journey, we arrived to a rather robust queue (which I guess was a good sign). As soon as we joined we were accosted by a bouncer asking if we were on the guest list. (I must state here that for those who know me I’m sure you’re aware that I do not have the best track record with bouncers, and if you aren’t aware where have you been for the last 8 years? Now I’m the first to admit that I have a tendency to be overly senstive, however I’m sure I’m not the only one to have noticed that their general arrogance and aggressive tone can be somewhat offensive.) After advising the bouncer that I in fact had already purchased tickets to get in he stated that due to the time (which was before 11pm) that we may be asked to pay more. I didn’t really understand how this could be the case so I swiftly checked the tickets which showed that pre-purchased tickets were valid until 1am. Now for my optimistic friends out there I’m sure you would just explain it away by saying that the bouncer was aware of the rule but maybe not aware of the time. However I must stress that my cynical nature took over and this incident did nothing to recommend that particular bouncer to me nor did it improve my opinion of bouncers in general.
I felt the need to loudly state to OP* that actually we were fine until 1am and the 2 guys who were queue-ing in front of us turned around to say that they had been advised of the same thing. Now I know I stated in a previous post that I do not regularly find men attractive, however I have to admit that both friends were pleasing to the eye. I can only surmise that as I am forcing myself to be more open I am actually taking the time to look at those around me as opposed to not giving them a second glance which makes me think that maybe not finding men attractive has more to do with my preconceived notions than that 99% of the men are ugly. I’m not ashamed to admit that I actually faced a conundrum at this point as I couldn’t figure out which one I found cuter, one had a nicer face but was only about 5’9″ (and as you may know I have a thing for 6 footers, as well as dimples, in fact you may be beginning to build a rough picture of my ideal man) and the other had a slightly less attractive face but stood about 6’1″ tall.
After our I.D’s were checked we were rather forcefully ushered through the door and it wasn’t too long before we bumped into Tall Cutie who upon being reunited with us after a lengthy separation (it couldn’t have been longer than 5 minutes) decided to give me a high 5. Now I know a high 5 is not a HUGE thing but after living in London for a little while you begin to notice that not everyone is naturally friendly (or maybe they are but they don’t go out of their way to show it to strangers) and maybe I’m more easily pleased than I thought but this did endear me to Tall Cutie. The next time I bumped into them, Tall Cutie distributed even more high 5’s and that cemented my preference for him as he seemed to be a lot friendlier than Shorter prettier faced Cutie. It wasn’t too long after that I decided that he would be the perfect subject for my ‘ask a man to dance’ mission.
I spotted him alone and I moved closer with the intention of asking him if he would like to dance (however as it was not yet September I have to admit that I did cop out and rather than asking him to dance I asked where his friend had gone and told him he could dance with us while his friend was absent (give me a break I’m taking baby steps). Once his friend returned I very quickly moved along and on my travels I actually happened upon a Security guy who I found to be quite pleasing to the eye. (I’m the first to admit it’s extremely hypocritical but I have noticed I tend not to have as much as a problem with bouncers when I think they’re attractive, funny that!)
After trying to draw him into conversation I moved on to peruse my surroundings to see if there was anyone else who took my fancy. But alas, other than Tall Cutie and Security Guard there was no one I felt drawn to.
I don’t know why but I decided that my chances with Tall Cutie would be better and although I aborted the ‘Would you like to dance?’ mission I did make a new mission up on the spot, Which I actually think was fitting seeing as I was not yet supposed to have started my tasks. I decided that the next time I bumped into Tall Cutie I would ask if he was single and if the answer was “YES” I would ask for his number.
Unfortunately I don’t think it was meant to be as I didn’t bump into Tall Cutie again. However as I circled back round, after my prowl, to the Security guys spot he was still guarding his post and I thought “What the hell?” so I asked him if he was single instead. Sadly his response was “I’m kind of dating someone right now”. I gracefully told him that I thought he was attractive and just wanted to let him know and wished him luck with the girl he was dating.
Ok so it wasn’t a straight out rejection but I can’t deny that it did wound me a little. Not too long after this the club began to close and we filed out with the other party goers with the adventures of the night plaguing my mind. I came to the conclusion that there were two significant learnings I could take from this. One is that you should never assume that you will get the opportunity to do something again (I’m thinking of Tall Cutie when I say this) I bumped into him and his friend a number of times throughout the night yet when I decided that I actually wanted to make a move I didn’t see him again. The second learning is rejection is not something to fear, most people are not going to make you feel bad for showing an interest in them therefore you should just go for it. Again I stress there’s not much to lose, rejection is not nice no matter which form it comes in but you WILL get over it.
Although again my task did not end exactly as I’d hoped I just want to let you all know that on my way home I was actually approached by 3 different men in extremely different ways, the reason I’m telling you this is that I need to realise that actually more men approach me than I like to acknowledge so I’m not a complete lost cause.
Giving myself a small head start has emphasised to me that my challenge may not be as difficult as I think it will be…roll on Sept…I think can do it!!!